DINING  ROOM AND DINNER

The hostess is happy who can unlock the plate chest and produce some of the old tyme silver

The pieces are being burnished up and now re appearing , people grew tired of its constant use , but today silver and silver-gilt dishes are re asserting their fitness for the modern dinner table

                                                            ORNAMENTING   

Ornaments are high , rather than low (medium) ; high glasses and vases for the flowers .

All ornamentation is looking up , and a favourite and very pretty device is a silver vase , with a shell for salt , abouut two inches high

                                                              DINNERS

It is considered an intellectual feeast to provide a perfect little dinner when one can work with limited means only ; yet we know of many simple dinners , given by young couples with small means , which were more enjoyable than the most elaborate menu

People should not be frightened off (it is foolish fear ) from simple entertainments , because the very rich give such luxurious dinners

The first thing to be considered is , what is seasonable ; by carefully planning this and by making judicious selections , a lady can give a good dinner with only a small outlay in money : Always offer things in season , do not seek for strawberries in March , which are always sour ; nor peaches in June , nor green peas for Christmas

Forced fruits are never good and should not be used , for a simple autumn dinner we suggest  this menu

                                                  Roast Beef of Mutton      

                                               Roast Partriges or Chicken  

                        Potatoes                                                          Corn and Beans

                           Salads                                                              Cheese

                       Ices , Jellies , Fruit                            Tea and Coffee

                                    Claret , Burgandy                   or Sherry     

The essentials of a good dinner are few ; no wine is expected at the table of those whose principles forbid the use of alcoholic beverages ; an excellent dinner can be served without them

A fresh white linen tabble cloth , napkins of equally snowy whiteness , spotless glass and silver , pretty china , and one or two high dishes crowned with fruit , comfortable chairs , a well ventilated room , and dessert served in good taste , is all thats needed

A lady should be ready  at least a few minutes before her guests arrive , and in the parlor , serene and cool , "mistress of herself" she should personally superintend and  see that the dinner table is properly laid , and a place assigned to each of her company

Little dinners are social , little dinners are informal ; little dinners make people friends

We do not mean little dinners in regard to numbers or amount of food ; we mean simple dinners

For the very rich , who have French cooks , several accomplished servants , a well stocked china closet , plate chest and linen chest , with an abundance of flowers , no no menu will be given ; as their finances will enable them to offer at dinner any luxury they may fancy

It is not kind to keep guests more than an hour , or two hours at the most , at table

English dinners are too long and too heavy , although the conversation is apt to be brilliant

At a simple dinner one can make it short

                                                                    DINING ROOM

It is the custom at informal dinners for the lady to help the soup and for the gentleman to carve ; therefore the important dishes are put on the table

But the servants who wait should be taught to have side tables and sideboards so well placed that anything can be reoved immediately after it is finished

A screen is a very useful adjunct in a dining room , inefficient servants have a disagreeable habit of running in and out of the dining room in search of something that should have been in readiness ; thereforethe lady of the house had better see beforehand that French rolls are placed under every napkin , and a basket full of them ready in reserve

Also large slices of fresh soft bread should be on the side table , as every one does not like hard bread , and should be offerd a choice

The powdered sugar , the butter , the caster , the olives , the relishes , should all be thought of and placed where each can be readily found

                                                                   SERVANTS

Servants should be taught to be noiseless , and to avoid a hurried manner

In placing anything on or taking anything off a table a servant should nevder reach across a person seated at table for that purpose

However hurried the servant may be , or however near at hand the article , she should be taught to walk quietly to the left hand of each guest to remove things , while she should pass everything in the same manner , giving the guest the option of using his right hand with which to help himself

Servants should have a silver or plated knife-tray to remove the gravy spoon and carving knife and fork before removing the platter

All the silver should be thus removed ; it makes a table much neater ,servants should be taught to put a plate and spoon and fork at every place before each course

After the meats and before the pie , pudding or ices , the table should be carefully cleared of everything but fruit and flowers  , all plates , glasses , salt cellers , knifes and forks , and whatever pertains to the dinner should be removed , and the tablecloth well cleared with brush and crumb scraper on a tray , and then plates , glasses , spoons and forks laid at each place for the dessert

If this is done every day , it adds to the common dinner , and trains the waitress to her work

                                                    INVATATIONS TO DINNER 

Invatations to dinner parties should be sent and answered by messenger , except when distance is such as to make it inconvenient ; in such case to send by mail is admissible

Invatations should be issued from two to ten days in advance , in the name of the gentleman and lady of the house , they should be answered without delay , as it is essential that the host and hostess should know who are to be their guests

After the invatation is accepted , the engagement should not be lightly broken , for the non arrival of expected guests produces confuusion and dissappointment

Gentlemen can not be invited without their wives , unless it is a dinner party given especially for gentlemen and no ladies are invited

Ladies should not be invited without their husbands , when other ladies are invited with their husbands

Three out of one family are enough to be invited , unless it is a large dinner party

The paper used for issuing invatations upon , should be small note paper , or cards , with envelopes to match

                                                           THE INVATATION     

                                        Mr. & Mrs. Carr  request the pleasure of

                                     Mr. & Mrs.  Smith's  company at dinner

                                   on Wednesday , November  27th at  Five

                                 o'clock

An answer should be returned at once , so that , if you do not accept , the hostess may make neccessary changes in the arrangements

                                                           THE ACCEPTANCE

                                            Mr. & Mrs. Smith  have much pleasure

                                       in accepting Mr. & Mrs. Carr's invatation

                                      for November 27th

                                                     NOTE DECLINING INVATATION

                                 Mr. & Mrs. Smith  regret that the illness of their child

               prevents them from having the pleasure of accepting  Mr. & Mrs. Carr's

               invatation to dinner November 27th

                                                   OR

                             Mr. & Mrs.   Smith  regret  excedingly that owing to

                    other arrangements they can not have the pleasure of dining

                    with Mr. & Mrs. Carr on Wednesday , November 27th

The cause for declining should always be stated , so that there maybe no occation for misunderstanding

If it should become necessary to break an engagement made for dinner , a note must be sent at once to the host and hostess , so that they may supply your place if possible

In cities , the hour selected for dinner is after business hours , so from five to eight o'clock, it may be an hour or two earlier in the country or in villages

                                                     GENERAL RULES     

Water should be poured at the right hand ; everything else is served to the left

The hostess should continue eating until all guests have finished , jellies and sauces are helped on the dinner plate , and not on side dishes , if there are two dishes of dessert , the host may serve the most substantual one

Fruit is served after puddings and pies , and coffee last , in winter , plates should be made warm before being brought to the table

At fashionable dinner soup is the first course , all should accept it , even if it is a kind that they do not like , and know that they will not touch it , it is better to make the pretence of eating it , than to compel the servants to help you tothe second course before the rest , soup should never be called for a second time , take it noiselessly from the side of your spoon , and never tilt your soup plate for the last spoonful

After soup comes fish , which must be eaten woth a fork in the right hand and piece of bread in the left , unless you are provided with fish knives , if you wish , you may decline fish , but it must not be called for a second time

The side dishes , which come after the soup and fish , must be eaten with a fork , the knife is used only for cutting meats and anything too hard for a fork , never convey food to the mouth with a knife , remove the knife and fork from your plate as soon as they are set before you , as the serving of an entire course is delayed by neglecting to do so

Never be greedy at the table , do not hesitate about taking anything that is passed too you ,never take up one piece and lay it down in favour of another , never break a biscut and leve the pieces on the plate , for this compels your friend to take a small piece when he may wish a whole one

Never allow the servant to fill your glass with wine that you do not wish to drink, if it is placed by your plate without your being asked to accept it , let it remain without touching it or saying a word about it , act as though you did not see it

By some , a dinner party is not regarded as complete unless wine is served , people should be careful as to serving wines at all, you can not know what harm you may do your guests by placing wine before them , you may create in your friend an appitite for strong drink , you may renew a passion long controlled

                                                         SUCCESS OR FAILURE           

The success of a dinner is readily judged by the manner in which conversation has been sustained

If a stream of talk has been kept up , it shows that the guests have been entertained ; but if , on the contrary , the conversation has been dull  and flagging , it shows that the entertainment has been to a certain extent a failure

No one should monopolize the conversation , but all should take some part , it is due your host and hostess that you do all in your power to enjoy yourself and assist in entertaining others

                                              ENTERING THE DINING ROOM   

When dinner is announced , the host offers his right arm to the lady he is to escort to the table

The others follow , arm-in-arm , the hostess being the last to leave  the drawing room , agee should take precedence in proceeding from the drawing room , the younger falling back until the elder have advanced

The host escorts the eldest lady or the greatest stranger , or , if there be a bride present , precedence is given to her , unless the dinner is given for another person , in which case he escorts the latter

The hostess is escorted either by the greatest stranger , or by some gentleman whom she wishes to place in the seat of honour , which is at her right

The host places , at his right , the lady whom he escorts

The seats of the host and hostess may be in the middle , at opposite sides of the table , or at opposite ends, husbands should not escort their wives nor brothers their sisters , as this partakes of the nature of a family gathering

All guests should stand until the hostess is seated , once seated , the rest is simple routine 

                                                                EATING    

Eat cheese with a fork and not with a knife , ask a servant in a low tone for what you want ,

Eat and drink noiselessly , while masticating your food keep the mouth closed , break your bread , do not cut it

Eat fruit with silver knives and forks , if you prefer , take up asparagus with the  fingers

If a course is set before you  that you do not wish , do not touch it

Never handle glass or silver near you unecessarily , and do not play with your food

It is not your business to reprove the waiter for improper conduct  ; that belongs to the host

A gentleman must help the lady whom he has escorted to the table , to all that she wishes ; but it is improper for him to offer to help other ladies who have escorts

Remove bones from fish before putting into the mouth  , if a bone should get into the mouth  , cover your lips with a napkin and remove it , cheery stones or anything which you do not wish to swallow should be removed from the mouth as quietly as possiable , and placed upon the side of your plate

Use a napkin only for your mouth , never use it  for your nose , face or forehead

Eat pudding with a spoon , eat pastry with a fork

Never indicate that you notice anything unpleasant in the food , chew the food well , but quietly  and slowly

Break your bread , when not buttered ; do not bite nor cut it , do not break your bread into soup , nor mix it with gravy , it is in bad taste to mix food on the plate

Never leave the table before the rest of the family or guests , without asking the host or hostess to excuse you

Eat soup from the side of a spoon , without noise , the fork is used to convey the food to the mouth , except when a spoon is necessary , raw oysters are eaten with a fork

If you wish to be served with more tea or coffee , place your spoon in your saucer , tea or coffee should never  be poured into the saucer to cool , but sipped from the cup

If a dish is passed to you , serve yourself first and then pass it on to the next guest

Keep your hand off from the table , and do not play with your fingers

Fruit should be peeled with a knife , and cut or broken , never bite fruit

It is very rude to pick your teeth at the table , if necessary to do so , hold your napkin over your mouth

If you are requested to express a preference for a particular portion of a fowl , answer promptly ; that no time may be lost in waiting upon you

A  hostess should never apologize for anything on her table , neither should she speak with pride in reference to any particular dish , she should remain silent , and allow her friends to praise her dinner or not , as they see fit , do not urge your guests to eat against their wishes

The conversation at the table should not be monopolized by one or two , all conversation should be general  as far as possible , you may talk in a low tone to those near you , if you are at a large dinner party

Self-possession is demanded on the part of the hostess , that she may perform her duties agreeably , she must put all her guests at their ease , and pay strict attention to the requirements of all around her , she must not be disturbed by an accident nor embarrassed by any disappointment , should her valuable glass or china be broken before her eyes she must take no notice of it

The host must be equally self-powered , his temper should be such as can not easily  ruffled , he should direct conversation rather than sustain it himself

The hostess will commit a rudeness to those who have arrived punctually , if she awaits dinner for tardy guests more than the fifteen minutes which custom prescribes

Accepting hospitality is a sign of good will , and , if guests partake of hospitality only to gossip about and abuse their host and hostess , they injure themselves by doing so

Whether you accept an invatation to  a dinner party or not , you should call soon after 

                                              OUR MANNER

Ease of manner of the nost and hostess quiet and systematic movements on the part of attendants are indispensable

The servants commence in passing the dishes , one upon the right of the host and one upon the right of the hostess

Thin soled shoes should be worn by the servants , that their steps may be noiseless ; and if they use napkins in serving , insread of gloves , their hands and nails should be faultlessly clean

                                         AFTER  DESSERT

The finger bowls which are brought in on the napkin on the dessert plate , and set off to the left of the plate , are used by dipping the fingers in lightly and drying them on the napkin

They should be half full of warm water with a bit of lemon floating in it

When all have finished dessert , the hostess gives the signal that dinner is ended by pushing back her chair , and the ladies repair to the drawing room , the eldest leading , the youngest following last , and the gentlemen repairing to the library or smoking room

In about half an hour tea is served in the drawing room , with a cake basket of crackers and little cakes

The gentlemen join the ladies , and after a little chat over their cups , all are at liberty to leave